CNN (Crawford News Network): I get it

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I get it

50 Cent thinks he runs New York but I am pretty sure it is run by Mary Kate Olson. That is why you call her when there is an emergency.

1 comment:

Love'Em or Leave'Em said...: such an old joke...but still kinda funny...; March 19, 2008 at 2:07 PM

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Words Of...Wisdom?

"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." - Josephine Hart
"Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, love more and all good things will be yours" - Swedish proverb
"I believe a “ban on gay marriage” does sound totally ridiculous today. It is as ridiculous as slavery. It is as ridiculous as not allowing rock and roll."
"I guess I'm a sinner, 'cause when I open my mouth there ain't no winner, sometimes it's an inconvenience but don't you worry about that" -Matthew Good
"I have to stand today because these satin underwear are irritating my ass and genital area. Do you think I should take them off?"
"I need a papa sucre" - Mel
"I think I retain more water than the average person." - Me
"Identities aren't meant to be permanent. They're like cars: they take us from one place to another. We work, travel, and seek adventure in them until they break down beyond repair. At that point, living well means finding a new model that better suits us for a new moment." - Kate Bornstein
"Is it too much to ask to have a president who at least believes in evolution." - Lea Delaria
"Let's go with Jesus. Not the gay-hating, war-making political tool of the Right, but the outcast, subversive, supreme adept who preferred the freaks and lepers and despised and doomed the rich and powerful." - John Cusack (on his hero).
"My mom is always trying to get me to wear a hand bag. Like they are butch eating bacteria. She's always taking me shopping and saying, isn't that a nice hand bag, and of course I have no idea." - Lea Delaria
"People who don't see any way of changing themselves or the world spend a lot of time wishing they were dead." - Kate Bornstein
"Q = How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb? A = It's not the light bulb that needs to change, it's the system."
"Single people have no rights" - Mel
"When I was a kid I always had some kind of ball in my hand. - Me "Funny, I had the same experience." - Martin
"When something doesn't make sense, it is usually because it is not true." - Judge Judy
"Yah, I don't like that guy." - Me responding to Melanie explaining Catholicism and the Pope to me
"You're not spiritual. You're just high." - Bill Maher
Blacking out is a lot worse than passing out. Anyone can pass out. When you black out though, you are still at the party, making memories for other people."
Mel and I are sitting at our desks at work. "Melanie, do you like giving blow jobs?" - Me (Mel then goes into shock and self harms).
You're a straight guy, and I don't know that many straight guys. I don't care for them to be honest" - Kathy Griffin to Tom Green
“And then there are my friends, and they have their own lives. While they like to talk everything through, to analyze and hypothesize, what I really need, what I'm really looking for, is not something i can articulate. It's nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain turns off and your heart turns on.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel
“It seemed like this was one big Prozac nation, one big mess of malaise. Perhaps the next time half a million people gather for a protest march on the White House green it will not be for abortion rights or gay liberation, but because we’re all so bummed out.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel
“The biggest problem that women have is being ambivalent about their own power, ... We should be comfortable with the idea of wielding power. We shouldn't feel that it detracts from our femininity.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel

CNN (Crawford News Network)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I get it

1 comment:

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Words Of...Wisdom?